On being a Police Officer

I am currently 54 years of age.  I was a cop for 18 of those years.  When I subtract 18 (the age of "adulthood") from 54 I get 36.  So for 50%, that is half my working adult life, I was a Police Officer.  It just strikes me a little odd that half my life in the work force was in a profession that changes you in ways you cannot understand unless you have done it.  

In my time I saw a lot of really bad stuff.  I saw death in many different ways, most of it violent.  Car wrecks, boat accidents, drownings, trains running over people, house fires, homicides, suicides, and death by natural causes.  I guess it kind of piled up on me for a bit and I struggled with it.  But its better now.  I learned to compartmentalize it and file it, not so much stuff it just file it to work on later.  

The mind is an amazing thing.  On occasion some of those calls come to the surface.  And I literally had forgotten about them but then they pop up sometimes.  I guess that's my way of dealing with it, kind of accessing that file.  A sight, sound, smell, or touch will trigger some event from the past.  Most of the stuff that I experienced is not very palatable to every day conversation; nor is it something I can bring up on a Sunday morning to the congregation sitting in the pews.  It would not go over well so I just don't talk about it much.  

I was never in combat nor did I have close friends dying around me.  So I guess for me and probably most Police Officers our visit with what has become known as PTSD is different.  But it is just as real it just messes with a person in different ways.  When you do the job long enough you become a little jaded and just keep things to yourself.  You come to realize that most people would not understand.  So you just smile and rock along. 

For me my faith has been the greatest weapon against the demons of my past.  My faith in Jesus Christ has made all the difference.  Stuff still comes up an bites me but I immediately go to the Lord and His Word and His peace reigns in my little world.    

I suppose what is interesting is that I would not trade that Police career for anything.  It taught me so very much about people and the human condition.  These are things that have served me well as a Pastor.

There is more I could say but then it may become too long.  

Maybe next time I give my two cents on being a Pastor.